Be Back Soon

Apologies for not posting in so long. I have some very bad excuses for this lapse.
My life took a very chaotic turn in mid-April, and I stopped posting because my mind wasn't on food. I have this bad habit of not eating when I'm anxious or stressed. That's how it started.
Then I moved into as house with a family whose lives don't revolve around food. That's very different from me. My family... we don't really work like a conventional family, but I can almost guaranty that our best bonding moments are when we're bickering or in the kitchen. Better yet both. When I left my parents' house, I kept a household with guests for dinner at least once a week. I'm a little out of my element here.
On top of that, this household watches cooking shows. Cooking Dramas (competitions), no less. I've learned that I don't really like cooking dramas. It isn't that they're not entertaining, because they are. It's that they cook things with the wrong intention. The format of the competition dictates that they cook New things. As a result, they end up cooking with the aim of "I want to make something beautiful, unique, and innovative." Great. But is it edible?
To my horror, I realized that I'd started imitating this approach. I don't Need to cook something that's weird and fanciful. I Need to cook something that I want to eat. To make a long story short, none of my recipes were coming out right. They were all the wrong textures, and never really what I was craving, or what I need to function properly.
Even if they did come out right, I had no one to feed but myself. Everyone in this household is independent. They cook for themselves; each individually.
Cooking is the best way I know to show my love and appreciation for people. And eating and enjoying food is the best way I can think of to acknowledge that appreciation. Just tasting something and loudly proclaiming yum doesn't count. Food is nourishment. When you cook for someone it's saying "I want to stimulate all of your senses", but it's also saying "I want to be a part of your continuing existence." Food IS Love. Food should never be served in sample sizes or on tasting plates. It should be served in hearty portions that are meant to be a meal.
So, if no one's eating the food I make, what's the point of cooking? The point became to make things that are difficult, pretty to look at, and weird. Not to make things that are delicious and nourishing. Like I said, nothing came out right.
So that's why I haven't been keeping up. Lame, I know. But if I can't get a custard to come out right, I'm not going to post the recipe for it. I'm not going to be Able to post the recipe for it.
I'll have my own house again soon. With people to cook for over all the time. :) I should be back soon.


For those who don't know, dining at my house works sort of like a pot-luck:
1. Everyone brings ingredients,
2. I cook.
I might request some specific things, sometimes, but if you're craving something, bring it by. *grin*


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